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This article is reprinted from Challenges. AN
EVENING WALK ALONG THE BEACH... Sometimes events that make a lasting im-pression upon one’s soul and memory happen at times of emotional trauma and special needs. I have been blessed with a number of events, and one of the most recent I will share with you. I traveled alone by car to the Carolinas, about 1800 miles one way, to prove to myself that I had the courage and ability to do such a long trip by myself seven months after the death of my husband. He had always done the driving. I wondered about my stamina and staying alone in motels and eating alone in restaurants--both task and test for myself. I drove as far as Hilton Head Island, a beautiful spot and a welcome stopover for me as my favorite area is anywhere on or near salt water. On the second evening, I became very despondent, and as I walked the beach the following occurred. She appeared to me out of the wind and descending darkness on that pre-storm evening along a lonely stretch of beach. She was of medium height, slender build, and was dressed in white with a gauzy silver-white wrap around her blond hair. She had wide innocent-appearing blue eyes and a beautiful smile. She extended her hand to me. “Can’t we find anything other than these small shells on this beach?” she asked as she opened her right hand and showed me a number of small seashells. I was startled as I had thought I was alone. Just a moment before I had cried out to the powers-that-be and to my husband, “Please dear God, send me someone now to touch me and hold me. I cannot wait forever. I am too lonely and I need someone now.” I had felt free to shout aloud and to weep as I walked back toward the ocean-side entrance to the motel. The beach was deserted due to the high winds and dark clouds of the predicted storm. I talk often to God and to Ron as well as to my angels and have received tangible help on several occasions, but even so, I was awe-struck when the lovely woman appeared. I answered her question. “I do not know if larger shells can be found on this beach--perhaps when the tide is out?” She answered, “When does that occur?” I said that I was not certain. Then, I began telling her of my unhappiness, my loneliness and my journey in search of self-fulfillment. She listened and hugged me close to her and kissed me while we both cried. She eased my need for human kindness and touch. She also shared with me her own concerns regarding her relationship with her husband and her struggle to improve their communication. We held each other close and we talked of the need for loving communication with others while still living. We realized with a start that darkness was taking over our ability to find our individual way off the beach and very reluctantly, we parted. We exchanged first names and she said, “I wish there were some way we could keep in touch but there does not seem to be.” We accepted this, kissed goodbye and left each other. Later in my motel bed I thought: Why didn’t I go with her to her condominium and write out names and addresses? And I realized that this was not meant to be. I pray for her and know she prays for me and that somehow God, my angels and/or Ron arranged this meeting for us--a meeting that gave me the strength for my return trip home--the first journey of many journeys to be. This was not the meeting of a wonderful man that I had thought I needed at the time and yet to be found for a long term relationship that I so desire, but someone to ease the pain of the moment and to be proof that help is there when one asks. Help can appear
in small packages, like the small seashells, and can be beautiful
and bring pleasure as well as larger shells will--but not until
it’s the right time for me. © Michelle,
a pseudonym of a woman in progress. This is Michelle’s third
appearance in Challenges--the shattering memories of “Times
forgotten...Times remembered” (May cover story) and the poignant
“Impatiens, Impatients, Impatience” (July 1996). |