Some greet a new year with optimism, eager to experience new tastes, new scenes, new ideas. These folks see life as an ever-unfolding adventure generously laced with opportunities for learning and growth.

Others, alas, dread another January and the months that loom after it--each one a 30-day sentence to more probabilities for experiencing emotional pain--both old and new. And what’s so sad about this scenario is that the chances are high they’ll be subjected to what they fear. It’s the old bugaboo--self-fulfilling prophecies.

If there were no after-Christmas sales followed immediately by end-of-the-year super sales, one day could slide into the next without fanfare. New Year’s Eve could be what a lot of people say it is--”just another night.” The supposedly biggest party night of the year came to mean something to me only after
I started dating. But when I was 12 and Mother allowed me to stay up until midnight “to watch the old year out and the new year in,” we turned off the lights and stood at the window, looking out to a snow-covered fairyland sparkling in the glow of the street light. One year left and another arrived. The view from the window remained unchanged. I felt let down and wondered what was the big deal about New Year’s Eve. I had yet to be “carefully taught,” inoculated, more appropriately, by the hype generated by commercial profit centers that provide dining, party favors, bubbly, flowers, dance music, and formal evening wear.

There’s nothing any more magical about the beginning of a new year than there is about moving to another part of the country: in either event, we take ourselves with us. So whatever we want to have when we get there has to already be in place before. If you want love, make sure you already love yourself. If you want joy, tuck it in a corner. If you want courage, fortitude, and grit, stow it in with your socks.

"The mind is its own place, and in itself, can make a Heaven of Hell, a Hell of Heaven.” JOHN MILTON, 1608-1674

Because calendars are big business, with entrepreneurs catering to even the most obscure interests, even codependency which most of us have never heard of (joke!), by the 2nd of January, Christmas cards are half-price and Valentines are on display. Always available are the birthday and anniversary greetings--a whole bloomin’ year of emotionally-charged occasions to celebrate or endure.

When viewed in its totality, a new year can be daunting. But when approached one day at a time, 365 days become manageable.

There’s the big clue: we have choices.

And since we have choices, we know we are not destined to be victims of 1996.

However, the diehard “Poor Me” people among us can choose to feel victimized and make every day seem twice as long as it is. They can pout, whine, carp, manipulate, and in variations of the above, become everyone’s worst nightmare to say nothing of how such behavior will poison their innards and pollute a radius of undetermined dimension. They can make Peanut’s Pigsty look like an ad for a rare perfume.

Or, all of us can take advantage of our ability to change our attitude by changing our thinking. Our feelings stem from our thoughts.

Lost your job? Do you think of this change in your life as a challenge or a defeat? Do you broaden your search for new employment or do you move to where the unemployment benefits are better?

We can combine our awareness of the power of our thinking with cues from The Serenity Prayer--accepting what we can’t change, changing what we can, and having the wisdom to know the difference.

Wisdom may be in short supply but change is what there is the most of. Even when things seem to be static, they aren’t. Imperceptible changes are always underway. One change builds upon another.

This means that regardless of how calendars compartmentalize, a new year isn’t necessarily a new beginning but rather a natural progression. Nothing intimidating about that! It’s really so simple. 1996 is ours to make the best we can, one precious day at a time.